Phineas and Ferb and the Sorcerer's Stone
by yoneld
Summary: Phineas and Ferb/Harry Potter crossover. Phineas and Ferb build a machine that allows them to go into the Harry Potter universe. So does Doofenshmirtz. Candace/Jeremy, Phineas/Isabella (possibly), and so far no HP pairing. There are none in Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone. If anyone is interested in beta-ing this story, please PM me about it. Rated T cause I'm paranoid.
1. Prologue

_hA/N: Hello, people of FanFiction! I am here with a new story. As you probably saw in the summary, it is a Harry Potter/Phineas and Ferb crossover. It takes place during Sorcerer's Stone in the HP timeline and… Well, I don't know where it could fit in the P&F timeline! Does P&F even have a timeline? Yeah, didn't think so. And yes, there is going to be a whole series of them, from Sorcerer's Stone to Deathly Hallows. And now for the disclaimer:_

**yoneld**: Do I own Harry Potter?

**Harry**: Well…

**yoneld**: What makes you think I do own Harry Potter?

**Harry**: Gred and Forge's distinct awesomeness and Umbridge's distinct toadliness?

**yoneld**: No, these are the reasons Gred and Forge are my favorite characters and Umbridge is my least favorite. If I owned the series, do you think Fred would have died and Umbridge would not?

**Harry**: Touché.

**yoneld**: And do I own Phineas and Ferb?

**Phineas**: No. No, you don't.

**yoneld**: Yeah, didn't think so.

_A/N: And now for the crossover:_

Key:

**Bold text** is the name of the P&F character that is speaking.

**Bold and underlined text** is the name of the HP character that is speaking.

Underlined text is a song.

_Underlined and italic text_ is writing on things.

_Italic text_ (not as part of a line) is captions.

There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation/And school comes along just to end it/So the annual problem for our generation/Is finding a good way to spend it/LIKE MAYBE:/Building a rocket or fighting a mummy/Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower/Discovering something that doesn't exist -

**Phineas**: Hey!

Or giving a monkey a shower/Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots/Or locating Frankenstein's brain -

**Phineas**: It's over here!

Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent/Or driving your sister insane -

**Candace**: Phineas!

As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do/Before school starts this fall -

**Phineas**: Come on, Perry!

So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb are/Gonna do it all/So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb are/Gonna do it all.

**Candace**: MOM! Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

_Phineas and Ferb and the Sorcerer's Stone_

~Breakfast at the Flynn-Fletcher home~

**Linda**: So what are you all planning on doing today?

**Phineas**: Well, there's this book series you bought us last week. Ferb and I are going to go into it.

**Linda**: What do you mean?

**Phineas**: Oh, you know, we're going to build something that lets us go into it and take part in the events in the book.

**Linda**: What an active imagination. *chuckles*

**Candace**: They're really going to do it, Mom.

**Linda**: Oh, give it a rest, Candace.

**Candace**: But they are. Every day they build something. But then when you get home, it magically disappears.

**Linda**: You all have such wonderful imaginations. Well, your father and I are going to run some errands. Come on, honey. *leaves*

**Lawrence**: *leaves*

**Candace**: *runs outside* Mom! Wait!

**Linda**: What, have they already built it?

**Candace**: No. No, they haven't. But while you're gone, I'm in charge, right?

**Linda**: Well, why would anyone need to be in charge?

**Candace**: Well… *pauses to think about it* What if giant chessmen crush the house?

**Linda**: If that happens, you're in charge.

**Candace**: Yes! *goes in* Guys! I'm in charge. You know, conditionally.

**Phineas and Ferb**: *stare blankly at her*

**Candace**: Carry on. *leaves*

**Phineas**: Well, we can't be in the book alone. We need to invite people.

**Ferb**: *pulls out a list*

**Phineas**: That's it! Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today in addition to the other thing we were gonna do today.

~A few minutes later~

**Phineas**: Ferb, I know who we're gonna invite today.

**List**: _Baljeet, Buford, Candace, Isabella, Jeremy, Stacy_

~Meanwhile, in Candace's room~

**Stacy**: You know, Candace, if you weren't so obsessed with busting your brothers, I bet Jeremy would spend more time with you.

**Candace**: But they're always up to something and I just can't get Mom to know about it!

**Phone**: *rings*

**Candace**: Hello?

**Jeremy**: Hey, Candace.

**Candace**: Oh, hi, Jeremy.

**Jeremy**: So, I was thinking… do you want me to come over to your house later?

**Candace**: Wait just a second, Jeremy. *covers phone* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *uncovers phone* Why, yes. Yes, I do.

**Jeremy**: Great! So, I'll see you in like half an hour. *hangs up*

**Candace**: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

**Stacy**: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

**Candace**: Oh my God, I can't wait… Wait a second… What is going on out there?

~In the backyard~

**Isabella**: *comes in* Whatcha doin'?

**Phineas**: Hi, Isabella! We're making the Book-Enterer 3000.

**Isabella**: What does it do?

**Phineas**: When it's done, it should let you go into a book.

**Isabella**: Cool! Can I come with you?

**Phineas**: Yes. Yes, you can.

**Buford and Baljeet**: *come in*

**Phineas**: Hi, Buford. Hi, Baljeet.

**Baljeet**: What are you doing?

**Phineas**: We're going to go into a book.

**Buford**: Books are for nerds.

**Phineas**: We're not going to read it! We're going to be a part of it.

**Baljeet**: Sounds fun.

**Buford**: Oh, well…

**Phineas**: Everything going okay there, Ferb?

**Ferb**: *thumbs-up*

**Phineas**: Great. Hey, where's Perry?

~Where's Perry?~

**Perry**: *puts on fedora, looks right and left, then goes into the bathroom and flushes himself down the toilet. He lands in his lair*

**Monogram**: Good morning, Agent P. Doofenshmirtz has bought the entire Harry Potter series. We need you to find out what's going on and put a stop to it. Good luck, Agent P.

**Perry**: *salutes and leaves*

Doo-be doo-be doo-ba/Doo-be doo-be doo-ba/Doo-be doo-be doo-ba/Doo-be doo-be doo-ba/Agent P!/He's a semiaquatic egg-laying mammal of action/His furry little flatfoot will never flinch from a fra-ee-a-ee-ay/He's got more than just mad skill/He's got a beaver tail and a bill/And the women swoon whenever they hear him say:

**Perry**: Grr.

**Women**: *swoon*

He's Perry!/Perry the Platypus!

**Monogram**: But you can call him Agent P.

Perry!

**Monogram**: I _said_, you can call him Agent P!

Agent P!

**Perry**: *goes in through the front door*

**Doofenshmirtz**: What's this? A platypus?

**Perry**: *pulls out fedora*

**Doofenshmirtz**: Perry the Platypus! Well, you are too late. *traps him in a copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix* Behold, the Bookinator!

**Bookinator**: *has the creepy inator music with it*

**Doofenshmirtz**: You see, Perry the Platypus, I read this new series that is really in right now, and I thought I could help this Voldemort person. I know, I know, he let this Potter kid kill him in the last book, but it never hurts to have one more follower! And after Voldemort takes over Britain, I will use what he taught me to take over the Tri-State Area! *takes out remote and presses button*

**Bookinator**: *opens a portal to Hogwarts during an unspecified Quidditch match*

**Doofenshmirtz**: Wait, this isn't how the book begins… *turns off Bookinator, flips to page 69 and turns the Bookinator back on*

**Bookinator**: *opens a portal to the Leaky Cauldron*

**Doofenshmirtz**: Goodbye, Perry the Platypus! The next time you will see me, I will be the ruler of the Tri-State Area! *goes through portal*

~And in the Flynn-Fletcher home~

**Stacy**: Forget your brothers, Candace, Jeremy should be here anytime now!

**Jeremy**: *rings doorbell*

**Candace**: *opens door* Oh, hi, Jeremy.

**Jeremy**: Hi, Candace. Let's go to the backyard.

**Candace**: But Phineas and Ferb -

**Jeremy**: I know, they set this up.

**Candace**: What?

**Jeremy**: *scratches his ear* Well, they called me earlier today and asked me if I wanted to come with you into some book. They said it'll be fun.

**Candace**: Well, okay then.

**Stacy**: Wait a moment! Can I come, too?

**Candace**: Well, if you want to.

**Stacy**: Great. *they all go to the backyard*

**Phineas**: Well, Jeremy and the girls should be here by now…

**Candace, Jeremy, and Stacy**: *come out to the backyard*

**Phineas**: Ferb, open the portal at page 69.

**Ferb**: *takes out a remote, flips the book to page 69, and presses the button*

**Book-Enterer 3000**: *opens a portal to the Leaky Cauldron*

**Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, Candace, Jeremy, and Stacy**: *go in*

_A/N: How do you like it so far? I'll be posting this once a week on Wednesdays or weekends. And by weekends, I mean Friday/Saturday, because that's the Israeli weekend. Also, if anyone is willing to beta this story, please PM me about it._

_**Review or you will be trapped in a copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.**_


	2. Diagon Alley

_A/N: Hey guys! You're probably wondering why I took so long to update. The thing is, last chapter, I forgot to mention that I'll update on the first Wednesday/weekend after I get a review/follow/favorite. So you should all be thanking Chaos Infinity-X, who favorited this thing. You know, I'm also thanking him/her. Not just because I'm updating, but because I like getting favorites. Also, if anyone could give me ideas, that would be great. Currently, I only know vaguely what I'm going to be doing for the Harry/VoldeQuirrell/Doofenshmirtz/Perry confrontation (I know that I'm going to have Doofenshmirtz and Voldemort yelling "Curse you, Perry the Platypus" together and that Perry will save Harry, but other than that it's pretty vague). And if anyone can help me with getting Fluxweed in Pottermore, that would also be great. Yes, I did try looking behind the Whomping Willow after about 2,947,598,427,520,984,759,842 zooms, and I can see it all right, but my computer won't highlight it and I can't just click on it either. So far the only thing I can think of is trying it on a different computer. Luckily, I'm spending the weekend by my grandparents, so I can do that. If that doesn't work, I'll ask again next chapter. Oh, and happy Sukkot to any Jews who might be reading this! The Hebrew date today is Tishre 17__th__, 5773. Yes, I am going to be doing that every chapter. Deal with it. Oh, and my baby sister says "hi". And looks extremely cute in a baseball cap._

_Disclaimer_:

**yoneld**: Hello, second main characters of books/TV shows that I somehow blended!

**Ron**: Hello.

**Ferb**: *blinks*

**Ron**: *looks at him*

**yoneld**: It's okay, Ron. He is Ferb. He doesn't talk much.

**Ron**: Okay then.

**yoneld**: And now for the million dollar question…

**Ron**: What's a dollar?

**yoneld**: Sigh… and now for the million Galleon question: Do I own Harry Potter?

**Ron**: Possibly.

**yoneld**: What makes you think I do?

**Ron**: I'm talking to you, right? If I was owned by, I don't know, JKR, I wouldn't be talking to you right now, would I?

**yoneld**: No, you got that wrong. JKR does own you and your whole world. I just own this fic.

**Ron**: But this isn't really part of the fic.

**Ferb**: Technically, it is, but it's not part of the plot bunny.

**yoneld**: I can answer that, too. I also own the disclaimer and the author's note. And I certainly do own myself. Now for the million dollar question…

**Ron**: What's a dollar?

**yoneld**: This question isn't directed at you, so shut up, Weasley. Do I own Phineas and Ferb?

**Ferb**: *shakes head*

Key:

**Bold** is the name of the P&F character that is speaking

**Bold and underlined** is the name of the HP character that is speaking

**Half bold and ****half underlined** is a mix of HP and P&F characters

Underlined is a song

_Underlined and italic_ is writing on things

_Italic_ outside of a line is captions

~Through the Book-Enterer 3000, the… uh… octio? I don't know how you say "duo" or "trio" for eight! Anyways, they reach Diagon Alley~

**Phineas**: Whoa, this is so cool!

**Stacy**: Look! There's a weird but extremely cool clothes shop right there! *points to Madam Malkin's*

**Candace and Stacy**: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ! *try to run there*

**Phineas**: Wait! First we have to get Gringotts vaults!

**Everyone**: *goes to Gringotts*

~Back in Doofenshmirtz's apartment~

**Perry**: *tries to get out of the cover of the HPOotP book and succeeds. Then he goes through the Bookinator*

~And in the Leaky Cauldron~

**Tom**: Bless my soul! It's Harry Potter! Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome back. *shakes Harry's hand*

**Doofenshmirtz**: Pleased to meet you, Mr. Potter. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. *shakes hands*

**Doris**: Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter. *shakes hands*

**Quirrell**: Harry P-P-Potter.

**Hagrid**: Hello there, Professor Quirrell. Harry, Professor Quirrell will be one o' yer teachers at Hogwarts.

**Harry**: What subject do you teach, Professor?

**Quirrell**: D-D-Defense against the D-D-Dark Arts. N-N-Not that you'd n-n-need that, eh, P-P-Potter?

**Harry and Hagrid**: *leave*

**Doofenshmirtz**: *turns to Quirrell* You said you teach at Hogwarts?

**Quirrell**: Y-Y-Yes. Y-Y-Yes, I d-d-did.

**Doofenshmirtz**: Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

**Quirrell**: Quirinus Q-Q-Quirrell. P-P-Pleased to m-m-meet you.

~And back in Diagon Alley~

**Perry**: *comes out of the Bookinator portal, sees Phineas and Ferb approaching and quickly takes off fedora*

**Phineas**: Oh, there you are, Perry.

**Perry**: Grr.

**Everyone**: *goes into Gringotts and up to the front desk*

**Phineas**: Excuse me, sir.

**Goblin**: Yes?

**Phineas**: We would like to open Gringotts vaults.

**Goblin**: And are you wizards?

**Phineas**: Yes. Yes, we are.

**Goblin**: All seems to be in order. But aren't you all a little young to be opening Gringotts vaults?

**Phineas**: Yes. Yes, we are.

**Goblin**: Well, okay then. Names?

**Phineas**: I'm Phineas Flynn and… *gestures towards Ferb* That's Ferb Fletcher.

**Isabella**: Isabella Garcia-Shapiro.

**Candace**: I'm Candace Flynn.

**Stacy**: And I'm Stacy Hirano.

**Jeremy**: I'm Candace's boyfriend, Jeremy Johnson.

**Buford**: Buford Van Stomm.

**Baljeet**: Baljeet Patel.

**Goblin**: *writes everything down* Follow me.

~And now in the tunnels~

**Girls and Baljeet**: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAH!

**Phineas**: We should make our next rollercoaster underground. Write that down, Ferb!

**Ferb**: *thumbs-up*

**Goblin**: Please exit to your left.

**Everyone**: *gets off the minecart*

**Stretch of wall**: *has eight slots on it*

**Goblin**: *tears paper into eight pieces and puts each piece into a different slot*

**Stretch of wall**: *turns into eight doors to vaults, complete with keyholes which belch out keys, complete with belching sounds*

**Isabella**: This is disgusting yet cool at the same time.

**Candace**: I know, right?

**Everyone**: *picks up the keys with their names and opens the vaults the keys came from*

**Vaults**: *open*

**Phineas**: Awesome. How did the money get here?

**Goblin**: When every vault is made, a starting amount of 5000G' is created inside it.

**Phineas**:Cool.

**Everyone**: *takes money and goes back on the minecart*

~And now everyone's back in Diagon Alley~

**Phineas**: Does everyone have copies of this book?

**Isabella**: Where?

**Phineas**: Another thing the Book-Enterer does, other than turning us into wizards: it also puts miniature copies of the book we're in, in our pockets!

**Everyone**: *checks their pockets* Cool.

**Phineas**: Open them on page 66.

**Everyone**: *takes out their books and open on page 66*

**Baljeet**: Uh, Buford, that is page 99.

**Buford**: Argh! I can never remember if six is with the circle on the top or on the bottom!

**Baljeet**: Just let me open it for you. *opens it for him*

**Phineas**: Everyone go buy what you need!

**Baljeet**: But what about Perry?

**Phineas**: What about him?

**Baljeet**: Well, the letter says that we may bring a owl, a cat, or a toad, and Perry is a platypus.

**Isabella**: According to the Fireside Girl handbook, that rule is not enforced at all, so it's okay to bring Perry.

**Buford**: Wow, that handbook has everything!

**Isabella**: Yes. Yes, it does.

~And now to a montage of everyone doing their shopping~

_A/N: I know you're all going to be checking if the Hogwarts shopping list is actually on page 66 (American edition), so just in case it isn't, no, I don't remember the page number of every single thing that happens in the book by heart. I don't even have the English version of Book One at home, but I did read it and I do have the Hebrew one. I just looked it up in the HP Lexicon's Canon Portkey, which gives a very detailed summary of the book that's divided into sections that summarize every couple of pages from the book. The shopping list's section starts on page 65, and Hagrid and Harry talk to each other a bit before that, so I assume it starts on page 66. Correct me if I'm wrong._

_**Review or a keyhole will belch you out of it.**_


	3. The Journey From Platform 9 3:4

_A/N: I STILL EXIST! But I'm tired and in a bad mood. The tiredness is because I went to sleep at 3 o'clock in the morning and the bad mood is because… well… I'm not going to go into it. Let me just say that someone brought up a sore subject - basically, about a year ago, my ex-bestest friendly-friend (who was my bestest friendly-friend at the time) stabbed me in the back in a way that hurt my other bestest friendly-friend (who is still my bestest friendly-friend), who blamed me for it. So now I'm mad with a lot of people because they are in some way or another involved in what happened. And for a completely unrelated reason, several people have been added to the "people I am mad with" list. No, Siriusly (I'm still doing that, it is Harry Potter, and that also goes for the riddikulus/riddikulusly thing. But this isn't going to be in other fics, just in Harry Potter fics. For example, I'm planning to do a Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie parody, and that's not going to have any "Siriusly" or "riddikulus"), it has absolutely nothing to do with what happened last year. So I'm part of B'ne Aqiva, which is a bit like Boy Scouts, and every year there's a Hodesh Irgun, which is Hebrew for Organization Month. Now, last year's Hodesh Irgun was as far as possible from organized, so their definition for a mess is probably World War III. But never mind that; at the end of Hodesh Irgun, the ninth graders do this big graduation/initiation march thingy, and there's this one-legged kneel thingy, except you have to be sitting on your right foot and your right knee can't touch the ground. Which explains three things: my legs are now killing me, they should change Hodesh Irgun's name to Hodesh Ke'eb Bilti-Nisbal (Hebrew for Unbearable Agony Month), and I'm really ticked off at the three people who are running the rehearsals, whoever invented the one-legged kneel thingy, and whoever included it in the graduation/initiation march thingy._

_ANYWAYS, moving on… sorry for not updating lately. Yes, I did get a review, but I was by my grandparents last weekend, so I couldn't update, and then I had no access to my laptop for another week. So think of this early update, because I really shouldn't have updated until Wednesday. Don't worry, if someone reviews tomorrow or on Tuesday, I'll still updated on Wednesday._

_To JustAnotherCreativeWriter - you're right. Looking back, there really is something a bit off about the first two chapters. From now on, it's going to be in story form. But the disclaimers are still going to be in script form._

_Okay people, so you can do what JustAnotherCreativeWriter did and give constructive criticism, but flames will be used to cook pasta._

_WOW that was a riddikulusly long author's note. And now I feel better, having gotten the anger at pretty much everyone out of my system. Now, on to the disclaimer:_

**Hermione**: I guess this was expected, since Harry and Ron did the disclaimers in the other chapters.

**Isabella**: Yeah… I just wish my turn was right after Phineas.

**yoneld**: Hem, hem.

**Hermione**: OH NO THE TOAD IS BACK! *pulls out DA coin*

**yoneld**: Whoa, calm down, girl, it's just me, yoneld!

**Hermione**: Right, I knew that.

**Isabella**: Sure you did.

**yoneld**: Girls, let's get this over with, I'm in a bad mood.

**Hermione**: I thought you got that out of your system.

**yoneld**: Whatever, I'm still mad.

**Hermione**: Fine. You own -

**yoneld**: NO! FOR THE LAST TIME, I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!

**Everyone yoneld knows**: And there he goes.

**Hermione**: Actually, I -

**yoneld**: I'VE HAD IT WITH EVERYONE THINKING I OWN THEM JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE TALKING TO ME!

**Hermione**: But -

**yoneld**: I AM NOT JKR!

**Hermione**: YONELD, YOU LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW!

**yoneld**: What?

**Hermione**: I was going to say that you own nothing except for this fic.

**yoneld**: … right, I knew that.

**Hermione**: Sure you did.

**yoneld**: Moving on… so, Isabella, do I own Phineas and Ferb?

**Isabella**: Aren't you a bit young to own a TV show?

**yoneld**: Not you too…

**Isabella**: The answer to that is yes, which is why you don't own Phineas and Ferb.

HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF

Having finished their shopping, Phineas and his friends went into Ollivanders' wand shop.

"Hello," said Ollivander. "Here to get new wands?"

"Yes," said Phineas. "Yes, we are."

"Excellent!" said Ollivander. He took out several tape measures and levitated them with his wand towards each one of them. While the tape measures were measuring them, Ollivander explained about the different wands. After a while, the tape measures zoomed back to his hands. He then got a wand from one of the shelves and handed it to Phineas.

"Alder and unicorn hair, twelve inches, reasonably springy," he said. "Give it a wave."

Phineas waved the wand, which emitted yellow and purple sparks.

"Excellent! Well done, well done indeed! Clearly, this is the right wand for you," said Ollivander, moving on to Ferb, whose wand was similar to Phineas' but was slightly longer and more bendy.

Candace's wand was made of ash with a phoenix feather and was thirteen inches long and inflexible.

Stacy's wand was made of cedar with dragon heartstring and was eleven inches long and rather flexible.

Jeremy's wand was made of apple with a phoenix feather and was thirteen and a half inches long and also rather flexible.

Isabella's wand was almost exactly like Phineas', something she was delighted about, but hers was slightly shorter.

Buford's wand was made of fir with dragon heartstring and was ten and a half inches long and very unyielding.

Baljeet's wand was made of walnut with a phoenix feather and was twelve and three quarters inches long and slightly bendy.

Phineas paid Ollivander three Galleons and five Sickles for the wands and they all exited the shop.

"That was awesome," said Candace.

"I know, right? I can't to come back next year," said Stacy and they both shrieked in delight.

Baljeet held his hands up to his ears. "Can you please not scream in my ear?"

"Where do we go now?" asked Isabella, ignoring Baljeet.

"Well," said Phineas, "we can book rooms at the Leaky Cauldron, or we can go to a hotel in Muggle London."

"I say we go for the Leaky Cauldron," said Buford.

"Okay," said Phineas and they all went into the Leaky Cauldron.

_A/N: Sorry it's kind of short, I just have to go to sleep. I'll post the rest of it tomorrow._

_**Review or Candace and Stacy will shriek in your ear.**_


	4. The Journey From Platform 9 3:4 Part 2

_A/N: HELLO I still exist. Sorry for not updating for an extremely long time but that's how this story is going to be updated from now on, since I am also working on a Diary of a Wimpy Kid parody and there's a seventh year AU I'm planning, too. Siriusly, I knew being a fanfiction writer would be hard, but –_

**Everyone yoneld knows**: Nobody told you it would be that hard.

**yoneld**: Exactly. Wow, am I really that predictable?

**Everyone yoneld knows**: Yes. Yes, you are.

_I got the weirdest prank call a few months ago, presumably from one of the kids in my B'ne Aqiva group. They're so nice. Anyways, so someone called me and told me that he (pretty sure it was a "he") heard that I'm good at math and that I speak French, and then he asked me if I wanted to come and teach math in France. So I was like, "The heck?" I mean, I am good at math and I do speak French, but I don't think it's nearly good enough to even attend a French school, much less teach at one. And then some things didn't add up, like: How does he speak Hebrew perfectly except for the heavy French accent (and it's easy to imitate a French accent if you speak Hebrew as a mother tongue)? How does he know my cell phone number? How can an Israeli fourteen-year-old teach math at a French school? How does he even know about my existence? So yeah, and then I heard that guy speak Hebrew with a distinct lack of a French accent, so he must have realized that I wasn't going to fall for that, and that just confirmed that it was a prank. Well, personally, I thought that was a pretty good prank, worthy of the Weasley twins (that is, assuming they know what a cell phone is. I guess they can use Extendable Ears like cell phones)._

_So, President Obama has been in Israel for 26 hours already. Of course, I don't get to see him, as I'm not one of those lucky 801,000 people that live there. I'm one of the 7,192,100 Israelis that live in the other 17,290 square miles of Israel. However, I did hear about his meeting with the Prime Minister and President of Israel, and it sounds like he's learned from his mistakes in his first term. Again, it sounds like it, but only time will tell if he actually has learned from his mistakes. You never know with politicians. Psychologists have conducted research and found out that there is one thing politicians always do when they're lying – they move their lips._

_Anyone else find it ironic that Stomm (Buford's last name) means "shut up" in Hebrew? Or that the transliteration of Stomm (__סתום__) could also be read as "satum," which means "stupid"?_

_Disclaimer_:

**Fred**: Do you think he'll be as short-tempered with us as he was with the other guys?

**Perry**: Grr.

**Fred**: Well, you are a platypus. You don't do much.

**yoneld**: *comes in* It seems that you are under the impression that – how do you say "platypus" in plural? Platypii? Platypuses? Platypeople? According to the spell check, it's platypuses, but what the heck is a platypus?

**Perry**: Grr.

**yoneld**: Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure that's not what a platypus really looks like. *checks Dictionary dot com* Well, apparently, a platypus is a small, aquatic, egg-laying monotreme, _Ornithorhynchus anatinus_, of Australia and Tasmania, having webbed feet, a tail like that of a beaver, a sensitive bill resembling that of a duck, and, in adult males, venom-injecting spurs on the ankles of the hind limbs used primarily for fighting with other males during the breeding seasons. Still imagining Perry here… *checks Google Images* Wow, no pictures of Perry until page three… Well, I think I know what a platypus really looks like. Anyways, it seems that you are under the impression that platypuses don't do much. Well, it's true except it's not. Perry, show him your true form.

**Perry**: *explodes*

**yoneld**: NO NOT THAT TRUE FORM! *also explodes*

**Fred**: I AM BURNING! *also also explodes*

**yoneld**: _Percy Jackson_ reference. Couldn't resist. I DON'T OWN IT!

**Perry**: *takes out fedora*

**yoneld**: Thank you. So anyways, you are probably wondering why I summoned you here.

**Fred**: Yes. Yes, we are.

**yoneld**: Well, today you guys are doing the disclaimer because you're my favorite characters from each thingy!

**Fred**: HA! I'm more awesome than George!

**yoneld**: Actually, you're both awesome on the same level, it's just that I could only put one of you in. By the way, you totally just admitted that you're Fred.

**Fred**: What – no, I'm George!

**yoneld**: TOO LATE!

**Fred**: You're annoying.

**Everyone yoneld knows**: I know, right?

**yoneld**: GET OUT OF MY CROSSOVER. Anyways, do I own –

**Fred**: No, or I wouldn't have died in Book Seven.

**yoneld**: Well that was easy. Do I own Phineas and Ferb?

**Perry**: Grr.

**yoneld**: I'll take that as a no.

HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF

The group had stayed in the Leaky Cauldron for four weeks when one day, at breakfast, Tom the barman came to them and said, "Letters for Ferb Fletcher, Candace and Phineas Flynn, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, Stacy Hirano, Jeremy Johnson, Baljeet Patel, and Buford Van Stomm."

"We'll take them," said Phineas and took the letters. He handed every person their own letter, and they all opened their letters.

Phineas' letter read:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL _of_ WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,_

_Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

Dear Mr. Flynn,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a train ticket from Platform 9¾ at King's Cross Station, London.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 August.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

Inside the envelope, there was a ticket that read, "Hogwarts Express, Platform 9¾".

"What's this Platform 9¾?" asked Candace.

"No idea," said Jeremy.

"It's probably something just for wizards," said Baljeet.

Isabella opened her Fireside Girls handbook to page 396. "Well, it says here that to earn your '_I just went into a magic platform_' patch, you need to pass through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10 at King's Cross Station, in London."

"You Fireside Girls have a patch for just about everything, don't you?" said Phineas.

"Yes," said Isabella. "Yes, we do."

And then Vanessa Doofenshmirtz appeared from a portal to Danville.

HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF

Back in Danville, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz got into her father's penthouse. "Ugh," she said, opening the door. "I can't believe Mom makes me go to Dad's every weekend. As if I don't have enough bad things in my life without him being evil – _What_ the _heck_?" she shouted, looking at the Bookinator. "It looks like – but it couldn't be! How could Dad have possibly opened a portal into the Leaky Cauldron?" She looked behind the Bookinator, expecting to find some sort of extension, but it was just the portal. "It must be some kind of trick – aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!" For she had touched the portal and sucked in. She hit the floor at the Leaky Cauldron. There were a bunch of kids there. She recognized three of them from school – Candace Flynn, Jeremy Johnson, and Stacy Hirano. And across from Candace was –

"Ferb?" she asked. "What are you doing here? Did you go through my dad's Bookinator too?"

"What's a Bookinator?" asked Ferb's stepbrother – Phineas.

"My dad made a portal to here."

"Oh," Phineas said. "We made our own portal. But since you're here, why don't you sit down and we'll get you your stuff for school?"

"No need," said Ferb. His British accent sounded even better now that they were in Britain. He tapped his bag with his wand and it belched out a set of books, a telescope, an owl, a cauldron, a set of scales, a set of phials, and some clothes, all black.

"Hmm," said Ferb, examining the wand. "Blackthorn, phoenix feather, eleven inches, unyielding. Here you go." He handed her the wand.

"Thanks," said Vanessa. Then she was hit in the head by an owl carrying a letter.

"Hey!" she shouted at the owl. "What was that for?"

The owl stretched its leg out.

"Oh, the letter," she said. "Thanks. Now scram!"

The owl scrammed.

Vanessa opened the letter and read it.

"So," she said, putting the letter back in the envelope. "Being the only one who's actually read the book here, I assume none of you know how to get onto the platform?"

"Actually, we do," said Ferb. "Isabella found it in her handbook."

"Cool," said Vanessa. "By the way, what's the date?"

"August 30," said Phineas. "Which reminds me – Ferb, you have the replies in your bag?"

The bag answered by belching out nine pieces of parchment.

"Perfect," said Phineas. "Vanessa, can you send those with your owl?"

"Of course," she said and sent those with her owl.

HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF * HPF

The next day, the group went through the barrier to the platform. They showed their tickets to the conductor and found a compartment. They sat down and started talking amongst themselves. At some point a toad hopped into their compartment. Soon after that, a girl with bushy brown hair and large front teeth came to their compartment with a round-faced boy who was looking miserable.

"Excuse me," said the girl, "but has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one."

"Yeah," said Phineas, "we've got it. This your toad, Neville?" he asked the boy named Neville.

"Yes! Thanks a lot for finding Trevor!" Neville said. "He's always running away. You American?"

"Yes," said Candace. "Why?"

"Nothing," said Neville. "Just thought you sounded foreign. See you at the feast, I guess." And he and the girl left the compartment.

When they got to Hogwarts they left their stuff on the train as they were told.

When they got off the train, Hagrid asked Candace, Jeremy, Stacy, and Vanessa: "Are'n' yeh four a little old ter be firs' year students?"

"Yes," answered Candace. "Yes, we are."

"Well, okay then," he said. "Hop on a boat."

They hopped on a boat. When they reached Hogwarts, Hagrid knocked on the door.

_A/N: So yes, that was the second part of the sixth chapter of Book One. The next chapter will be coming sometime before June, hopefully, I just need to talk to my sister about the houses for everyone._

_**Review or Perry will explode IN YOUR FACE!**_


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